Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is what I did on my day off.

I have been reading blogs lately, I have a few I am slightly addicted to. Such as, Cupcakes and Cashmere. Which is eloquently written about topics such as baking, fashion and home decor. This girl, who has amazing writing skills as well as fashion sense as high as the sky, is a master chef and has impeccable taste. She has been able to quit her job and support herself from her cute little blog alone.
No fair. No fair. I want to quit my job and make bookoos of money by writing and sharing my thoughts and ideas.
I'm a decent writer, I have a tendency to be mildly humorous and I happen to think my ideas are AWESOME. Sure, my fashion sense isn't I often make my Boyfriend roll his eyes to what I decide to put on, and I still can't make minute rice. I know! Minute Rice? WTF? Its freaking WATER and Rice. How I manage to Fu*% up water and Rice is beyond my understanding.But my culinary skills are improving. I made a tasty little supper made of pork chops in roasted red peppers and white beans and took it to my grandparents for dinner. My Grandfather who has to be the biggest food Critic on the planet said it was " exceptional" And for an entire week afterwards I was referring to myself as " Rian, Culinary Master Pants". My interior decorating skills are... so-so. I love my house and all the cute little things of me set up about it. Even the little pieces of my boyfriend that are out all make my house so, oh-so,cozily mine. With exception of the giant movie poster of Heath Ledger as the Joker. Please keep on mind, when I say Giant I for once am not at all exaggerating. This poster at one time could have been hanging in Time Square. Its ridiculous. And whats even more ridiculous is I think my Boyfriend truly believed that he would be hanging this in my front room. We compromised and its in the basement. So long as I close my eyes nice and tight when going down to do laundry I don't scream.
My Camera sucks. In fact, it doesn't even work. I use my Boyfriends but that camera sucks too. Sure, it takes photos.. but not like all the other blogs have. So maybe my blog isn't successful because I don't have a Nikon (some sort of high number)fancy smancy professional camera that makes food look scrumptious and outfits look amazing and little Nick Nacks look like they were made by Santa's elves in the North pole in perfect little ginger bread houses. Maybe someone should buy me a camera and when I make millions I'll reimburse you plus buy YOU a camera. Takers??? Although, My idea of the perfect camera is a Polaroid. I'm all about instant gratification. ( As if you couldn't have guessed, as this blog is chuck full of get rich fast without a whole lot of effort ideas) Polaroids are not all that bloggey friendly. Maybe I could have a really cute pictured fun fridge and a photo free blog?
Maybe, My blog isn't successful because I don't have a baby? These Mommy blogs seem to be the Twilight upon middle aged stay at home mothers. I can't really relate and get bored mid-blog because I fail to understand the humor behind having poo on your forehead and having a worker at Babies-R-Us point it out to you. ( Thats just disgusting) Or the turmoil behind wrestling a Diaper Genie. ( No clue what that would be like, nor do I want to) But, other ladies eat that shit up ( not the poo on the forehead, the proverbial shit) So, maybe in hopes of creating a multi million dollar blog for myself so I can sit in my Jammie's and drink Dunk N Donuts coffee while typing all the crazy things that go on inside my head day in and day out I should come up with a clever way to talk myself as well as my boyfriend into procreating. *think think think* Pause...... Longer pause.......................
No. Out of the question. That's selfish, and really would be difficult to explain to the kid when they ask why they were born " Well slugger, Mommy wanted to get rich and by telling the world of your poops, pees and pukes and post birth fiasco's she did it!" He'd probably sue me later for emotional distress. And that would terrible.
My Boyfriend is in a Band. A good band. A REALLY good band. They are releasing their EP this upcoming weekend. The venue sold out in 3 days. I am pretty certain that sooner then later he will be touring the US making millions of dollars and young girls will be swooning all over him. Just last night, as we watched the CMA awards, ( Ok, Truth be told...I watched and made him come watch when my Favorite musicians took the stage) I asked him what he plans to say when he and the other Wayne Hoskins Band Members take the stage at the VMA's to accept their award. I think I shocked him that I was actually asking. I asked because there is no doubt in my mind that its going to happen. He goofed around and said a bunch of silly things and of course I got mad because I think for some reason I should personally be made mention of. (I am a girl People! Back off! ) But it was really neat to see him actually take that moment into hope and consideration. I of course have already started dreaming up the dress I want to wear and practicing the shocked, yet graceful look on my face when they call out their name in the mirror.
Point is that... Maybe I won't make money on my writing until after my Boyfriend makes the cover of Drummers Magazine. I figure that if that 90210 Bitch, whats her name? Tori Spelling can write and actually sell a memoir. So can I. So Maybe the secret to success is the shadow of someone Else's?
OR maybe I can go to school and get my Journalism degree and actually work for some success. Naaaah that seems like WAY too much work and I really hate Math Class.
Step one is done. I have this Blog. I'm learning to cook. One day I might have a kid. I wear cute clothes. My house is decorated. GOD! Why does making money have to be so F'ing hard.

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