Dinner Date

Another weekend approaches.
Awww the possibilities.
Who will I meet? Where will I go? What shall I do?
* Looks up at the clock slowly ticking to 5:30*
Tonight a date! With the best man I know. My Dad. This is a guaranteed no heartbreak, polite, honest, good conversation, good food, a kiss on the cheek goodnight and home in bed by 9 date. Which is fine by me. Last date I ended up leaving in the middle of dinner and calling my ex-husband to come and get me before that awful monster of a man came out with more disrespecting things to say.
Awful date #406
This boy whom I have known for awhile asked me to go to his work Christmas party with him. This boy and I have always shared a mutual attraction and innocent flirtation together. We arrived at his party at a local steakhouse where 100 plus of his co workers and their wives were eating. We sat down in the middle of the room. At first it was going by swimmingly. Then his friend who had recently became divorced began bragging about casual sex and picking up whatever you can at a bar. My big- huge- self-righteous- innocent- little angel- please don't make women a notch on the bedpost- you mean mean awful man-no sex til you are in love- mouth piped up. My date disagreed, and said something to the effect of 'do whatever you can, whenever you can, for as long as you can' I almost choked on my beet! I shot him a look backed with the power of all the women who have ever been a one night stand or a booty call. It didn't frighten this one. Instead he chose to say the most wrong, most awful, most disrespectful, slap-worthy statement I have ever heard..
I can't repeat it.. I can't even type it. My Grandmother reads my blog!
ok, A mild version.. " I bet you I can lick that little 'another word for cat..no, not kitty' of yours!"
Without hesitation I stood up. Placed my napkin over my salad. Grabbed my coat and stormed out.
That's up there amongst the worst date of all time. It almost compares with the time my date left me in Salt Lake City to go to Wendover with his buddies. Or the time my car got stuck in the snow 3 houses down from my dates house and when I called to tell him he simply said " Ok no big deal we will do it another night" He didn't help unstuck me or even look out the window to wave hello!
It did beat the birthday date when the boy I was dating gave me his used, old, scratched up camera for my present after buying himself a brand new one earlier that day.
But it didn't even come close to the number 1 worst date ever.
Let me set the scene for you.
Valentines Day last year. I have been dating this boy for a minute or two. I went and got him a Gerber daisy and chocolate covered fortune cookies with a note saying " how fortunate I was to have had met him" aww tender. And left it in his room.
I waited.. waited.. nothing. Then ALAS! 1 am rolls around and the piece of jerk called me to come get from the strip club. THE STRIP CLUB!!!! I did it. I DID IT!!
The whole way to his house I silently sang 'kumbaya my lord' to calm myself into not killing him. His drunken lushed ass cried and blubbered the whole way home and then vomited outside my car. Then He smiled and said goodnight. The little guy was too tuckered out from looking at naked women twirl around all night to invite me in.
No thank you for the candy.. No happy Valentines day baby. Nada.
Anyway.. The point of this rant?
I guess it's that my weekends may be alot less eventful these days but God, I am a whole hell of alot happier.
I love having the opportunity to connect more with my friends and my family. I love that I get to watch whatever the hell I want to on the television and rent any movie I care to see. I love not waisting my energy on some asshole. And learning alot about myself.
I do hate it when a cute little love song comes on the radio or on my Ipod, watching lovey-dovey films, stumbling across old photographs, or when those weird unexpected moments occur when you can't stop thinking about what use to be and what they are doing now.
But those moments never seem to last long and thank heavens for the skip button. They are nothing a good friend can't cure, or a slap in the face remember what happened memory replaces the ewwy gooey one, or hot Yoga, or even better.. a rice krispie treat!