Friday, January 23, 2009

Broken telephone lines??

Friday.. Fantastic! Ask me if I have plans tonight.. go ahead, Dare Ya!! Its been 5 days since that stupid rotten no good butterfly given butthead called me. 5!! But who's counting?

Thank you Cosmo, Thank you Greg Behrendt.. I get it. He is just not that into me. 10-4. Copy.

Question: Does Testosterone provide the talent of acting? Just Curious, because this kid should be winning an Emmy. Also, what is with these games that go hand in hand with dating? Seriously? It's like a relentless game of chess while at the same time competing in the hop scotch championship. Should he call me? Do I call him? Is it still the 3 day rule or has it advanced to 5? Perhaps, I should just run up to him at recess and pinch him, call him a name and run away laughing? Or, do I delete his number and settle in with some Ben and Jerrys and a bottle of wine until me and the girls go out for another round of guess which one isn't an asshole?

I wish meeting people could be as easy as those old Sesame Street games.. like.. "One of these things is not like the others,One of these things just doesn't belong,Can you tell which thing is not like the others By the time I finish my song?"

But no, They all look about the same. Many have an endearing sense of charm and irresistiblity and it usually takes us woman a lot longer than a song to realise what a turd he is. The bad ones disguise themselves well as good guys and the good guys are good guys lost in a sea of jackass's or they are married. The good single ones should illuminate light or something.


Unfortunately I can't wikipedia my questions. But I'll tell ya one little fun factoid I did learn.. Mars is 1990 million miles away from Venus.


I rest my case.

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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2009 at 3:34 PM

    You know, Ben & Jerry have never let me down. Well, there was that excursion with their frozen yogurt but that was my fault.

    As for games (and I'm being all presumptuous here because I just started reading you) I say find someone who will actually play chess with you. Better yet, if he's fun enough to play hopscotch he's a keeper. Someone who's playing mind games and games with your emotions? Who has the time or patience for that?

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  2. AlyssaJanuary 23, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Well girl.. you know what I would say.. "Don't date guys you meet at bars, and your chance of dating a decent guy would probably go up."
    :)

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