Wishing

I thought I was moving on.. but with each step I seem to stumble.
I have been doing well.
I find comfort in my friends smiles, my new job, My fantastic family, the closing down of the local watering holes, the sunday Bloody Mary's( Thank you Jon, Lauren and Dave), My Ipod and those songs I can't help but play over and over again, Long Drives, Romantic movies, Books, and nights in my own room..
I even have found myself in the arms of someone new.
But, regardless I can't fool this fool
I believed that I was strong. But, now I'm left wondering..
What if?
I had lived in the moment more
I had laughed more
I had appreciated the little things.
I voiced my optimism's
What if I would have stayed?
Would it have changed your mind? Would you still love me today?
I wonder..
And then I turn to my friends, the bottle's left dry, The Walt Disney Fairy tale's, the advice's and the vices.
But then, sometimes, There are those times that it's just gotta be.. well, you.
What I would give to have you here with me again, to laugh like we did, to just be like we were.
I know the 'what might have beens' will drive you crazy, But not a day goes by that I don't think about you, us.
Somehow, no matter how much I try to forget or move on I still find myself waiting for you to call in the middle of the night, the morning and in the middle of the afternoon.
But, If you ask.. I am doing just fine sitting here wishing I didn't love you anymore.